presence

6-25-22

A day of hating myself for being such a fraud.

Stopping now, letting the moments pass.

Knowing these thoughts are ever-present.

I choose to touch them, feel their truth, and move on.

There is more living to do.

My thoughts matter less, my acceptance matters more.

I sit looking out my window at the most gorgeous rain.

I love the rain.

Learning to let opinions and judgements come and go.

Learning that this moment of acceptance will pass as well.

Learning to enjoy the adventure of living with uncertainty.

I

4-26-22

Tonight I walk alone, bringing to memory the souls I have known.

How grateful I am, their wisdom revealed, my pain is self-inflicted,

My fate no longer sealed.

There are no secrets to living, but there are things that need to be found.

We don’t know what we don’t know.

But our heart does.

When you find your heart you will know that your life is a shared blessing.

-having no knowledge, wisdom, or training, only personal experience-

The heart places itself in your most secret sadness,

And waits there for your discovery.

It is a spot we all have, but not everyone is willing to look.

You are not expected to go there, you do not need to go there.

But pray that you will want to go there.

6-7-22

Finding my place in the rhythm of life.

Finding there is less for me to resist.

Times of struggle, times of acceptance.

Moments of drift, moments of purpose.

To be ok with what is, ok with what is not.

To stop seeking, to begin allowing.

Putting an end to the days of becoming my father.

When I stop seeking approval, I become grateful for relationships.

To let go of the lessons of our past-

They are not meant to be permanent.

How wonderful to be old, to loose loneliness, to find solitude.

Finding God not in the words of others,

Finding God in our most personal silence.

Quietly embracing the experience of today.

Quietly embracing the moment with you.

Knowing my moment will end, my time will end, my life will end.

Knowing how very important the unimportant things are.

Knowing too late how much I loved you.

3-31-22

As I sit in my warm car, I watch a small bird

perched on a barren tree.

It is 42 degrees and raining.

He sits alone and sings his song to the grey dawn.

He has no idea how necessary he is.

His simplicity places him at the center of the universe.

A simplicity I will never achieve.

As I stay, he flies away.

We take our place, we have our time, and we are gone.

A moment of life becomes a moment of appreciation

and meaning:

The Great Mystery revealing itself.

4-8-22

What a moment, I am so glad I stopped,

I stare at the moon and it stares back.

As the moment passes, traveling clouds arrive-

Diminishing the moonlight.

The moment is not lost, it is a part of me.

I breathe in the moment.

The morning light is slow to come.

We can believe in our journey-

Even when we don’t believe in ourselves.

When I stop choosing joy over sorrow,

I choose acceptance.

Acceptance leads to gratitude,

Gratitude to appreciation, our heart opens,

And our learning begins.

5-15-22

Today I will open the most closed part of myself,

Without notice, I will open quietly.

I want to become as clear and reflective as a

,mountain lake.

I will release my connection to yesterday

rediscovering life.

I will find pleasure in the comfort of less

I will not fear myself or my emptiness.

I will be grateful for what is, what was,

and what’s next.

I will hold to myself as the winds of change

carry me on.

5-8-22

How grateful I am to have been given this time.

This time to become aware that life is a journey-

From control to compassion.

Fear is my companion, no longer my master.

The illusion that anger is my protection is dissolving.

Inspiration is the result of my loneliness.

Understanding others is the result of my sadness.

We come to not only believe in our journey.

We come to believe in the journey of our loved ones-

May be even all of humanity.

Our newly discovered heart is our guide as we

Fix less, listen more, smile more, and allow our presence

To be our love’s expression.

4-14-22

Staying with myself, believing in now.

The heart knows, there is nothing to be gained, only appreciated.

To be granted presence at dawn.

The gift of my existence, too often worried away.

There are no secrets, there is nothing that I missed,

Just the time that was lost,

Thinking there was something wrong with this.

4-12-22

I feel exposed today, a little lost.

I feel my childishness asserting itself-

I will not oppose it, I will let it pass.

Let me be open to whatever the day brings.

Let the first words that come to mind be, thank you.

Let every situation be an opportunity to learn.

Let every person I encounter be an opportunity for acceptance.

Let me be unprotected in my life today.

Let me see that we are part of a living universe.

Inhaling and exhaling equals one breath.

Living and dying make one life.

Creation and destruction one existence.

I will trust the wisdom of the universe will find balance-

It always has.

4-10-22

Is this me or is this the voice of my parents in my head

Is this the passing planets or phases of the moon

Is this my own mental madness or just being human

Life’s uncertainties are ever-present.

I so easily slip into expectation and judgement.

So tangled up again, so out of breath.

I will let the unanswerable questions-

Remain unanswered.

I will breathe nature and sky, birdsong and music.

I will find a spot to be alone, until I can love humanity again-

Even myself.

I will be grateful for the miracle of breathing,

The miracle of the moment, and the miracle of us.