3-21-23

A moment of inspiration from an unknown source,

A moment of inspiration I did not have to force.

To release my solutions and to accept my part in the Great mystery.

In the last few weeks, everywhere I went,

I have seen many robins.

Today I see only one.

I am so grateful for her presence.

She has grounded me in the moment.

To stop. To be the observer, the wonder of it all.

To stop.

To know a moment of beauty will teach me the beauty of it all.

3-23-23

A strong pull towards self-hatred lately,

I see the past through eyes of regret,

And I sense a hidden contempt for me in relationships.

I feel exposed, a fraud, I want to run away.

Of all the advances and setbacks of life-

Self-hatred has been one of the most consistent.

When I seem to be at a place of balance,

Something is said or done and I become overwhelmed.

During my meditation today, I realized-

It might be a necessary part of my character.

As long as I don’t act on it, it is just a feeling,

Maybe even beneficial,

Maybe my words of gratitude are only words.

The words I use to cover up my pride and self-righteousness.

Maybe self-hatred is a necessary part of my journey-

Until it is not.

2-26-23

I take a slow, deep breath, and my life changes.

Such a strong feeling, to make my heart, bigger, my mind smaller-

Maybe not smaller, maybe less important is a better way to put it.

It is a gift we already have, but we don’t know how it works,

What it means. I only know how to make mistakes.

That is my experience.

I forsake judgement and come to trust experience.

Experience tells me stillness connects me to my heart,

Acceptance dispels my self-importance, patience is the only when.

The noble truth, All desire is suffering.

Pleasure or virtue, righteousness or peace,

These things are not within my power.

If I am given a moment with them, let me be grateful,

But they are not mine to have.

How perfect the endless sky.

2-6-23

Looking to the trees now, and their silent wisdom.

They are limitless in their forgiving.

As I rush searching for ways to justify my rage.

They silently interrupt, teaching –

To smile while I’m dying,

To forgive without trying.

Experience remembers what learning forgets,

Passing through memories now,

The wonder and the terror of childhood.

The onslaught of reality into our self-protected world.

Survival. But safe never again.

And over many years, decades –

Allowing some of that self-safety to dissolve, more and a little more.

Realizing life is not about safety.

Longevity is not a virtue, longevity is a chance.

Maybe experience is worth the risk.

Rediscovering some of that childhood wonder.

More amazed than afraid.

2-3-2023

Let the mountains rise, let the night fall.

Let the day break and the tree tall.

Let the still stars dance at the speed of light.

Let the clouds of winter sky the night.

Let my heart break, let my body fail.

Let my mind loose and my ship sail.

Our life has been perfect we will soon come to see-

No one else could play my part it had to be me.

or

Our life has been perfect we will soon come to see-

It was a purpose we filled it was never about me.

1-26-23

Getting a little more comfortable with my loneliness,

It fits a little better everyday.

Sometimes it is my loneliness that connects me to my heart.

I will remember ever the love that made me cry,

The people, the pets, the moments, the sky.

The people. The people.

Those who disarmed us, they broke through our best defense.

We weren’t sure we could trust them,

We were suspicious, yet attracted.

They did not decide to make pleasant memories for us.

They wanted nothing, they were genuine and sincere.

They shared some of their time,

They made us feel special, and they were gone.

That I may leave others on their path-

As I have been left on mine.

1-10-23

Coming now to stillness, no need to arrange anything.

No need for adjustment, no need to fix.

I feel my breath, and I see my sky,

Simplicity and wonder are perfect companions.

A moment of connection in a random universe.

Today I am fortunate, stillness holds, I don’t run away.

Thoughts and worries, memories, dreams and decisions-

They rumble by without touching me, allowing peace it’s due.

I notice the morning light slowly returning to the sky.

I too slowly return to the community of life.

May I be a little calmer,

A little less upset with myself and this living world.

1-1-23

Thinking of the people I’ve lost, and how it will be

When the people I’ve found will come to loose me.

It is our passing that gives rise to new life, new love

We become a memory, perhaps a good one when thought of.

It is how we made people feel that will become our legacy.

So let me treat people with care as I pass into history.