8-17-23
Cool winds and a cloud covered sky present a pleasant change on this young morning.
The rain that was forecast is slow to come, if at all.
That’s OK, all will be well. The last remnants of darkness have been swept away.
Let me live this day humbly.
Let me not be a hinderance.
Let my presence be unnoticed.
Let me be a witness to the moment, as it yields to the next.
Let me offer support from a hidden foundation of peace
8-7-23
Learning this life, learning how to live, once the lesson is learned,
Life changes and I must learn again.
It makes the moment special, it might be familiar, but not the same.
We gather our experiences and value them, but their guidance is
Incomplete. Each moment requires open-mindedness as well.
As I ruminate, the moon catches my eye, it is setting, the soft white
Whisper in the pale blue sky.
I stop talking to myself, and allow appreciation for the gentle touch
Of the morning moon. No feeling, sense, or thought, just appreciation.
No inspiration, desire, or expectation. Only This.
This is what I was made for. To be present for existence. To be present
For appreciation.
8-2-23
One of the most difficult realities for me to accept is,
“People believe what they want to believe”,
We pretty much all do.
We’re really not looking for what’s right or what’s true,
We seek more to justify our choices and confirm our view.
We join with others with whom we agree,
Self righteously avoiding to see differently.
Although there are those who think me wrong-
I just can’t deny it.
I will trust my own counsel if my heart just can’t buy it.
7-31-23
To travel unmarked roads, to breathe new air,
To see what has not been shown-
To discover what has always been there.
To travel through your own insanity,
To make peace with your pride and your vanity.
To forgive until the wisdom of forgiving is revealed,
To open until the final secret is unsealed.
To keep showing up when you are no longer sure why,
To know that your mind can get stuck,
But your heart can always fly.
7-18-2023
As the day dawns, I am surrounded by activity and busyness.
It is good to be still, to allow everything to happen without me.
Still learning how well things work without me.
Learning how to step aside when not needed, nothing to add or takeaway.
Learning how to live with the natural order of things.
There is a place and a time in our lives for ambition and accomplishment,
But it is equally important at the proper time to live without them.
To live with acceptance and trust.
To know that I may be making matters difficult, instead of better.
Today maybe a peaceful heart and a calm mind is my best contribution.
As the morning sun clears the eastern clouds, the tree line to the west turns gold
And I get to see it.
7-9-23
To be given this time, this place, I am overwhelmed by emotion.
There is so much here for us,
The material world blocks so many other sounds and visions.
It is so necessary for me to detach as often as possible,
To connect to the deeper reality that exists for us all.
Find peace in your interior life and it will always accompany you.
We do not need to be afraid of the world or deny it’s reality,
But we can learn to not overvalue its’ struggles and rewards.
We are more than that.
Learn the value of being alone.
Spend time in nature, wherever that may be for you.
Meditate, whatever that may be for you.
Believe in and trust your own creativity as it grows inside of you.
Gratitude will be more than a word, more than an emotion,
It will be your experience.
7-6-23
Today the clouds move slowly, north to south,
A pale blue sky provides the background,
I struggle to find my place today-where do I begin?
What is my purpose?
I feel the need to connect to something, no breeze moves me.
Do we reach a point, is there a moment when we know our work
has been completed?
Are we overtaken by peace, but unfamiliar with the feeling?
Do our souls know the truth but our mind hangs on wanting more-
Still hoping for necessity.
Is today the day I stop using caffeine to fuel my ambition?
Is it the day I stop the heart medication that adds more days?
Is today the day I start living the words I’ve written,
Quiet acceptance, peaceful ways.
I could never leave, it would be too sad, I will have to be taken.
6-25-23
The day dawns and I realize I am at odds with myself already.
I find myself blaming other people for my problems.
In my head I create conflict with others to avoid the conflict within.
Fortunately I am able to get away, and I arrive at the park.
I stop to observe the forest and the sky,
To appreciate the rainfall we received last night.
Detaching from social relationships for now,
I focus on the place I am in.
In this moment I need only belong to this place, nowhere else.
My breath slows and deepens.
A small rising of emotion waters my eyes,
My struggle has turned to gratitude.
The natural world unfolds, unaware of me, incapable of judgement.
I turn to it for todays lesson of acceptance.
6-19-23
So much starlight left to see, so many mysteries to behold.
So much grace has been given me, my failure turned to gold.
I look forward to each day, even more the darkest night.
Finally loosing judgement as well, not knowing wrong or right.
And now we show up for our lives, never knowing what will be.
Never sure of what it’s all about, only sure it’s not about me.
Moving through the day, whether it’s a moment or a mile.
It’s less important what I say, more important that I smile.
6-18-2023
So grateful to be here now.
Alone again.
Alone with my tree.
We are both old and showing wear.
We are still able to contribute to the beauty of the moment.
On a windless day her stillness inspires me.
We are perfectly different, perfectly the same.
She is teaching me how to be unremarkable.
She is teaching me death with dignity.
She does not fight for survival.
She sees her replacements growing beside her.
Her empty branches allow them more light, more moisture.
No hatred for cars or people, for insects or drought.
Through her silent living she has contributed to peace on earth.
Amen.
6-15-2023
There is a sadness to this day,
I feel like so many things are ending-
So many things are ending.
I pause for the moment.
When you are young nothing ends, everything changes.
When you are old many things end.
Medicine and Social Workers resist this reality-
But I want to be at peace with it.
I want to embrace the sadness I feel.
May I never stop being grateful for my tears-
They have opened my heart, if not always my mind,
To acceptance.
It is in the passing of time that the beauty of life is revealed.
Understanding now, the less I try to hold-
The more beautiful life becomes.
6-12-2023
And now I realize my fatherhood is leaving me.
I feel frightened of losing my role, my purpose, my definition.
I hold my title, but my necessity is over.
I am still loved, occasionally thought of, but no longer of much importance.
Soon enough I will even be thought of as a burden.
The seeds I have sown, knowingly or not, in my children have taken root, and grown.
I am without judgement, they are seeds of fear, seeds of love,
Seeds of peace, seeds of conflict.
My children will discover themselves in spite of my interference in their life.
Again, I realize, I can make nothing better for them,
My great sorrow is for how I made things worse.
My wish for them, is to see their own light, separate from any other,
And to be that perfect glow.
presence 