Category: Uncategorized

2-4-24

Although hard to accept, I have come to believe it’s true’

Our childhood perceptions still drive our life and our choices.

We offer the world our adult personality, but it is our childhood

Trauma and the fears the trauma created that drive us.

We choose fear and safety over new experience.

I definitely know the feeling.

I am a good swimmer as long as the water isn’t over my head.

I play an ok guitar as long as no one is in earshot.

In so many ways I play it safe-

How bravely we dream, how frightened we live.

Let me see my protection for what it is; childishness.

Let me loose my need for approval.

Let me stand in the center of my own circle.

Trusting my experience, but trusting my vision even more.

2-10-24

Walking alone is an excellent way to release our worldly concerns.

Walking is to spirituality what sitting is to thinking.

And if you walk. When you walk. Your own singular vision will form.

It will take root and grow, it will connect you to what is sacred in you.

Your vision will transcend the rights and wrongs, regrets and worries.

Its’ reality will come to mind more often, and bring you peace.

It will sustain you as the world passes by,

And you will know gratitude for your moment of eternity.

1-7-24

On a frozen lake with small patches of open water,

I observe some geese who have found a refuge there.

As they seek companionship, I seek solitude.

While they can learn nothing from me,

There is much I can learn from them.

Learning to be grateful for small patches of open water, open sky.

Learning courage, aware but not fearful of predators.

Learning to ignore my desire to break the ice.

Learning to trust my ability to find open water.

After a short time, and much loud discussion

They are away, held now by the open sky.

I return to my observation of the frozen landscape.

Emptiness keeps repeating.

Learning patience.

1-9-24

When the darkness doesn’t ease,

Learning once again how to be at peace with myself.

Trying to keep my mind from creating the wreckage

of the future.

Staying with the present,

The only refuge I can find is gratitude.

Thank you for all the reality hassles that seem to be piling up.

Thank you for the health issues.

Thank you for the uncertainty.

Thank you for this big overwhelming world.

Thank you for waking me up to how fortunate I am.

12-24-23

Clouds and fog occupy the sky today, it feels very limiting.

I want dreams, I want inspiration, I want life to burn brighter.

And for all my wanting I am granted stillness.

I am a living paradox, a contradiction.

I feel like I should hate myself, be ashamed-

But I don’t and I am not, is this denial or acceptance.

Talking myself into mental illness, and walking back again-

Looking over my shoulder as I go.

I inhale. I exhale, I encounter life, a tree, an animal a person.

My heart rises and I feel connected to the Oneness that is absolute.

One life many lifeforms, one existence many expressions,

One moment eternity.

12-10-23

Today I saw two coyotes at the park.

The first one was larger and walked with a limp.

The second smaller one moved quickly, confidently,

But stayed behind, stopping to investigate more often.

The price of wisdom, the wonder of youth.

Thinking about them now, strong feelings rise up in me.

Their courage, their moment to moment existence is inspirational.

The fact that they are disliked, if not hated by people and animals-

Alike is of absolutely no matter to them. Bravo!

Today they teach me what I want to forget-

Accepting the struggle is how we grow,

“Failure is the secret ingredient in success”.

I have been granted a lifetime, what shall I do with it?

No more time lost to fear, no more waiting for the all clear.

It will never come.

12-4-23

Returning now to my journey,

I return to the lost child in an adult world.

We have all been there, it is where our road was interrupted.

Where we must become an adult, because an adult has become a child.

To pity ourselves is useless.

To return to our journey is extremely important, the sooner the better.

We might spend some time lost, and it is usually late-

but it is never too late.

When we return to our road, we are delighted,

The steps come much easier than we remember.

We find peace, being more at home on the journey.

Believing in our road, and trusting our steps.

We take what comes, and release what goes.

Grateful for learning that our home has always been in our heart,

And it travels so well.

11-30-23

Loosing more and more, loosing parts of myself,

Loosing value, loosing identity, loosing importance, loosing opinions.

Wants and needs, all reducing.

We hold to ourselves, because we are not lost.

We have come to find ourselves in the eternal now.

Learning to be at peace, with or without.

11-26-23

The seasons’ first snow, the silence,

The subtle white and grays,

The park contributes endless shades of brown.

I embrace the simplicity.

Let today be the day I give up my self-righteousness.

Let me surrender my brand of morality and goodness.

Let me find no comfort in judgement.

Let me loose my opinions like a tree looses its’ leaves.

Let me not find refuge in answers,

Let me find refuge in not knowing.

Let my fear, anger and jealousy not find hidden expression,

Let them come and go like snowy days.

Let me not seek protection in righteousness,

Let me find protection in acceptance.

11-23-23

The moments pass. A simple life.

The dawn begins its’ slow approach.

I take my place with an open heart-

Believing my purpose will be revealed.

Until that time, I breathe, I walk,

I understand there is nothing to understand

Grateful for the chance.

11-21-23

Thinking about harmony, discovering how reducing myself-

Creates more balanced and easier relationships.

Learning how my need to dominate and control,

Only creates the same need in others.

Harmony is not achieved by my assertion, but by my reduction.

Balance is not achieved by overcompensation, but by stillness.

One of the main ingredients in every solution I have been granted is,

“This is not about me”.

When I remember that, harmony becomes possible.

11-5-23

Today I arrive at the park feeling broken.

Hoping for inspiration, I want to escape self-criticism,

And all the places I don’t fit.

Let me just belong here, let me just belong now.

Let me belong with the perfectly still trees,

The geese passing over, the changing sky, the frosty earth.

Sunlight arrives shortly after I do, soon it will reach the treetops,

It will travel down and warm the day.

My breathing becomes more relaxed.

Again the wisdom of nature becomes apparent.

In an ever-changing world, everything fits-

Icebergs, volcanoes, animals and rocks, even people.

Social needs for permanence and control, create conflict and misfits.

All is well, I am right where I belong. I don’t need to change myself-

Anything or anyone.

I only need to be grateful for new perspectives, moments alone,

And for acceptance.

10-29-23

Crisis has arrived to our perfect suburban condo building.

A homeless man has been seen napping in our lobby on these cold mornings.

We are supposed to call the police when we see him there,

I can’t bring myself to do it.

It’s hard to pray for acceptance and prosecute the unfortunate.

There is little I can do to interfere in his life, but I won’t make it worse.

It is not possible to be grateful in my heart and mean in my actions.

Today I will keep the thought of him with me, as I pursue my busy day.

One of my favorite quotes is by William Law, “We must alter our lives,

If we are to alter our hearts, for it is impossible to live one way and pray another.”