Category: Uncategorized

2-13-25

Meditation leads to revelation.

This morning I arrive at the park to an empty field covered in snow.

A full moon hides and reappears behind slowly moving clouds.

Recent awarenesses have revealed foundational truths and

foundational lies that have unconsciously guided my life.

The disappearing and reappearing moonlight is my guidepost,

a reminder of impermanence.

I have never felt more alone, never more disarmed, never stronger.

I have never known myself before, never able to bear the unraveling.

Another step closer to center circle.

The clouds have moved on, the moonlight fixed and fading, yielding to the dawn.

Tears of gratitude well up inside of me.

I am so grateful for companions.

2-3-25

Left alone to wander through this moment of life.

As I proceed, loosing beliefs as I go, I find myself feeling more present.

I seem to have fewer questions, less need for answers.

This week I have seen an owl and a coyote.

Two creatures of the night, showing up in the middle of the day.

Two gifts that will be remembered, long after wrapped gifts are forgotten.

And now what’s next?

Perhaps a dream tonight, an improbable irrational event that mocks my grip on reality.

I pray that surprise, confusion and uncertainty be mainstays in my day and in my life.

That my life never fit into the same box that it fit yesterday.

1-18-25

Another day spent, another moment lost,

Another memory forgotten, time will take it’s cost.

And just when you thought you were no longer lost,

A new frontier is discovered, and it has to be crossed.

For our soul never rests, never stops yearning.

And the life we are granted is intended for learning.

So feel everything, be you, no need to hide or protect.

The frontier you discover is the love you are meant to reflect.

And when your time is over and you escape body and mind.

Your life will be at peace and you can leave it behind.

1-12-25

Living with darkness, the always returning need for self-hatred.

Loosing the battle, unable to escape perfectionism.

The judgement, the desire to hold it, the need to not hold it.

The slow crawl back to acceptance,

The destination of now, which I never seem to reach.

Then redemption:

This morning on a predawn walk through the woods, I saw 4 deer.

I felt sorry to disturb them.

The snow makes food scarce, and they had probably found something.

Their lives, their presence put me in my place.

They remind me that I am a creature, no more, no less.

I am a part of nature until nature has no more time for me.

My thoughts, emotions, opinions and judgements are like melting

snowflakes dissolving on the land.

Finding my place, and its right where I belong. Only This.

12-15-24

Low clouds, an atmosphere of stillness today,

I find myself stumbling, loosing myself in judgement and criticism.

Thinking I must be creative, but I find no creativity today.

Nothing comes but my own selfish desire to be more than I am.

Over time again and again I learn how life is not about creating happiness for myself.

Acceptance, presence, and appreciation for all things is how I allow

inner peace to find expression in my life.

It always exists for everyone, only my will for satisfaction can block it.

Peace is as much a part of us, as we are a part of nature.

It is usually subtle, quiet, but never found in material success.

Let me turn to the light in my own heart, when my mind creates more chaos in pleasure seeking.

12-19-24

Let me live my life today, believing that other peoples’ feelings matter.

Let my approval today come from within, let that be the only approval I need.

Let me start my day filled with joy, and end my day with gratitude.

Let me appreciate the lesson I learn from my mistakes today, and the

mistakes of others.

Let my pride and my humility stay in balance today, and may they both be unnoticed.

Let me believe in the big picture today when the moments are confusing, and I have

lost my way.

Let me hold to honesty today, when I am tempted to deceive.

11-29-24

Loving the old familiar places, and discovering new ground.

New ground, open ground, the land.

A vision of the sky and the feel of the earth

The whisper – the roar – the wind

How lucky I am, how can I not be grateful

Once again, I have been reduced, taken down a peg.

I am so much less, I have so much less, I want so much less,

It is so much better

11-26-24

A small crescent moon in a clear sky has made more stars visible this morning.

Stars are like different aspects of people, always there but unseen, hidden,deniable.

Buddha said there are 3 things that cannot remain hidden for long, the sun, the moon,

and the truth.

A truth that I have kept hidden, is my anger.

I learned very early to shut anger down or endure physical punishment.

I learned to hide my anger beneath more acceptable and self destructive anxiety, and

dishonesty.

It worked, the punishment stopped, but I lost the truth.

I don’t think anybody did anything wrong, it’s called civilization.

But now in my harmless, and hopefully wiser old age, it is time to reclaim that aspect of

myself, to let that starlight be seen.

It need not be hurtful, aggressive, or mean to anyone.

It is a burning intensity that is available to me if I see fit.

11-17-24

Coming to terms with recent changes in our country.

Moving past the denial and awfulizing extremes, coming back to balance.

Believing in the big picture.

In the natural world, new growth is the result of natural disaster,

Our country may look different in the future.

I can allow myself time for grief, but not self-pity, I must move on from loss.

My opinions and actions are important to no one but me,

And they are very important to me.

Being true to myself, integrity, and living by my values are primary.

I will not betray myself for the sake of prosperity, or popularity.

My interior life does not need to change to accommodate change in the

exterior world.

I can be at peace with myself in the midst of any storm.

Though my life can be changed, even taken, my soul is my own.

11-12-24

Today I arrive at the park early enough to see the dawn color the clouds.

The muted silvers and pinks, the subtle changes as the moments pass.

After a short time the pinks are gone, only shades of silver remain.

No detectable movement in the clouds, the surface winds calm.

I notice as the day brightens, many trees still hold their color.

I love their subtlety, without sunshine.

The trees without leaves have their attraction too.

Their true form revealed by tiny dark lines against a silver sky.

Grateful today for these times of observation-

For the peaceful moments I have been allowed.

11-5-24

A stormy day, rain and wind will be natures voice today,

and she will be heard.

Let me accept it, enjoy it, appreciate it.

Let me change my plans to accommodate it.

Let me be reduced by the storm,

Let my day be disrupted, my ideas forgotten.

Let me walk outside a little longer,

Let me rest inside a little easier.

Because I am more natural than civilized, let me be

refreshed by the storm.

The natural world is not disrupted by the storm,

The natural world is the storm, let me be too.