presence

11-5-23

Today I arrive at the park feeling broken.

Hoping for inspiration, I want to escape self-criticism,

And all the places I don’t fit.

Let me just belong here, let me just belong now.

Let me belong with the perfectly still trees,

The geese passing over, the changing sky, the frosty earth.

Sunlight arrives shortly after I do, soon it will reach the treetops,

It will travel down and warm the day.

My breathing becomes more relaxed.

Again the wisdom of nature becomes apparent.

In an ever-changing world, everything fits-

Icebergs, volcanoes, animals and rocks, even people.

Social needs for permanence and control, create conflict and misfits.

All is well, I am right where I belong. I don’t need to change myself-

Anything or anyone.

I only need to be grateful for new perspectives, moments alone,

And for acceptance.

10-29-23

Crisis has arrived to our perfect suburban condo building.

A homeless man has been seen napping in our lobby on these cold mornings.

We are supposed to call the police when we see him there,

I can’t bring myself to do it.

It’s hard to pray for acceptance and prosecute the unfortunate.

There is little I can do to interfere in his life, but I won’t make it worse.

It is not possible to be grateful in my heart and mean in my actions.

Today I will keep the thought of him with me, as I pursue my busy day.

One of my favorite quotes is by William Law, “We must alter our lives,

If we are to alter our hearts, for it is impossible to live one way and pray another.”

11-4-23

Today I return to the landscape to understand

How well beauty and sadness go hand in hand.

The life-giving sunlight, the peaceful evening stars,

The soul-moving moonlight, the dreams that reveal my scars.

The tears and the smiles that enrich our day,

The love for others, who must find their own way.

I must step away often from a world of accomplishment and appetite,

And connect to the world within, beyond wrong or right.

For peace cannot be learned, or found in my mind,

But the peace in my heart will take loneliness, and courage to find.

10-3-23

Today, when I arrive at the park, I notice there is such stillness.

No wind, no activity, even the robins and squirrels are gone.

What is this place, this emptiness, can it be trusted?

Can I believe in calmness, can I trust in moments without purpose?

Is this the absence of fear?

In this moment I don’t feel attached to anything.

Pale shades of blue have replaced the night sky, no clouds,

The stars present but unseen.

I must move on, but this morning something was gained and something lost.

Learning to be grateful for spontaneous moments of peace.

10-15-23

Many leaves are down, the woods do not seem so deep now.

More skylight passes through the trees.

Although it is a cloudy day, it appears brighter in the forest.

Today, let me focus on the harmony of the changing seasons.

Let me keep my trust in this life of becoming.

In my personal life, I am becoming more aware of conflict.

As much as I dislike conflict, I seem to go around creating it.

Certainly not on purpose, however if we are true to ourselves-

Conflict is part of the process of change, and inevitable.

Let me approach conflict calmly, without fear or self-righteousness.

Let the changing seasons be my guide, as I learn how conflict creates harmony-

In this life of becoming.

10-18-23

All the astronomers, and all the physicists could explain

meticulously or succinctly, but I will never understand starlight-

only be amazed by its’ presence.

10-5-23

As I wander through landscapes unknown,

Coming to accept that peace is a visitor, not a resident.

How bravely we dream-How frightened we live.

Expecting more of ourselves than anyone can give.

I run from the chaos my mind can create,

Looking for someone else to help man the gate.

Finding no one, I must accept that I am alone.

Chaos and peace will come and they will go.

I must allow them to change me, for that’s how we grow.

When something is gained, something is lost-

The pain of loosing my pride, well worth the cost.

10-1-23

It’s like a switch has been turned on, the birds are extremely active today.

The robins fly in pairs, I don’t know if they are competing or courting.

They fly so quickly, diving and darting in unison, no clear purpose or destination.

The Great Mystery in action, how wonderful is that?

As the sky slowly brightens, the full moon holds her shape and color-

The thought of her presence as she looses her appearance is a pleasant one.

It is time for me to return to my responsibilities.

Grateful for these moments of observation, the most important part of my day.

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9-21-23

I have stumbled over this landscape for a long time.

Just when I think I have found my stride, I fall again.

Every new bruise is a blessing, every wound a call to rise.

How is it that I now seem to have lost my way?

My mind is my least reliable tool, my vision unfocused.

I pray that my heart not be hardened,

Though I don’t know to who I am praying.

I pray that my soul will keep believing in the journey,

Abide my failing mind and stumbling body until we are home.

Every time I get scared, my life changes.

When I admit I am frightened, it gets better.

When I pretend I am not, it gets worse.

8-20-23

A warm stillness begins this day.

I feel like I am being carried by a changing universe.

Traveling to times and places unknown, but safe.

Coming to believe the universe is a safe place.

Fear and hostility are the unnecessary creations of man.

Thinking he must cling to life above all else,

Believing living and dying are two different things,

They are not. They are one.

8-10-23

To know the value of failure.

To loose the eye of the world.

To choose sitting in darkness as the best way to see.

To choose sadness as the bridge to you island alone.

To love animals that are hidden more than those that are known.

To love those who have loneliness forced upon them,

And be grateful it is my choice.

To understand that faith can be a wall that protects self-righteousness.

To value adventure over safety.

To know that I can neither possess, nor be possessed.

To know when my purpose has been completed

9-3-23

While prioritizing the things I should do today,

I caught myself slipping into self-importance.

I stopped for a moment, and fortunately the thought arrived-

Maybe I could do less and be more-

I decided to ride my bike to the park,

And arrived just as the dawn was breaking.

As I sat looking over the lake, an egret rose in the sky,

Slowly, gracefully, flew to the west, then another, then another.

A total of six egrets flew away, not in unison, but together.

I was blessed by the moment, the harmony of the natural world.

I accomplished nothing, I did not study anything,

But I learned a great deal about harmony, and my place in the world.

Now I return to the things I should be doing, a little less driven,

A little more at peace with myself and my place in this turning world.