presence

8-17-25

This morning a still grey sky, no wind, no birds, the quiet presence of nature.

Heavy rain and thunderstorms last night, the loud powerful presence of nature.

I am only one man, what can I do?

I wish we were less busy, I wish we would stop inventing, developing, growing.

Nothing fits anymore.

Politicians worry that the population isn’t growing enough to keep the economy

growing.

I hope nature has better ideas for us than an instrument for a growing economy.

Scientists tell us that advances in a.i. and medicine will enable us to live 150 years.

Why?

I watched a nature show that encouraged me to get off the beaten path, and

explore places people haven’t been to. Why?

Those are the places I respect too much to set foot on.

The international convention to reduce and end plastic pollution has disbanded

with no agreement.

Please let me be thankful for the great mystery.

Let it amaze and inspire me, frighten and confuse me.

Let me not seek understanding or fairness, they are subject to perception.

Let me observe, accept, and keep moving. This is not about me.

8-3-25

As surely as every night I fall apart –

Every morning I pick up the pieces –

Re-assemble myself and carry on –

Believing the pieces will hold –

And the cracks will go un-noticed. Amen.

7-22-25

I have a feeling of another step down, another step deeper, closer to my own unknown.

New ground, different ground, will it be more peaceful, I am unsure, and that is a

good place to be, unsure.

Relationships shifting, less urgency, less in common, less need to maintain, to make

it work, no need to manage.

Easier to allow relationships to be.

Less self – interest, more discovery, nothing needs to be kept, nothing needs to end.

Loosing the obsession with others, loosing the illusion of certainty.

No instructions here, no trail markers, no one to follow.

Over the years, the path narrows, its’ disappearance is inevitable.

Everything as is. Everything is.

7-20-25

Soul first – heart felt – mind less – body blessed.

See more – judge less

Trust more – believe less

Still more – busy less

Smile more – suffer less

Release more – keep less

Accept more – control less

Change more – fear less

Listen more – follow less

Joy is not a gift, it is the realization of gratitude,

it is our natural state.

7-15-25

This morning I enjoy the sunrise, knowing full well it is a false perception.

The sun is not rising, the earth is turning.

Our vision is complete, determined by our capacity for truth.

We see what we want to see, we believe what we want to believe.

We trust in the false god of fairness, and pursue it with passion.

We long for peace and create war to achieve it.

We create suffering by denying our equality and mortality with all living beings.

Peace is only a reality in the spiritual life, and only a possibility in this moment.

Look within, practice meditation, your connection to your soul, whatever you call it,

will grow.

We can change our behavior, our attitude, our perceptions.

We will surrender things we did not know we could live without.

We will loose our need to protect, our secrets, our personality, our accomplishments.

We will live deeper lives, simpler lives, grateful lives.

7-3-25

I have been blessed with many gifts. Endured many transformations.

Traveled many roads and wandered others.

Known many fears and much joy, felt transcendent love and paralyzing dread.

I have found every secret that hides in my soul, seen every joy fade,

every shame dissolve.

And yet, I seek more, I cannot quit, as my body grows weary my vision does not.

New discoveries call me out to have and to loose.

What is next, is it magic or mundane, worldly or spiritual, I don’t even know if there’s

a difference.

I know I must unlearn as well as learn, I must live honestly with myself, I must live

honestly with others, and I must show up.

Am I helping or am I hurting, I know I am doing both, but I am not ever sure when.

Maybe surety will never be known in this dusty world.

My purpose is to gratefully accept the next breath.

Say yes to the next experience soon passing, Sunrise Sunset Moonlight Darkness

6-12-25

I don’t know what it all is, but day by day I learn more and more what it is not.

It is not material, or accomplishment, not the acquisition of morality, concentration,

or knowledge.

It is not intellectual or found in answers, or the world of facts.

It is emotional, but our emotions are impermanent, and not trustworthy, and they

always involve risk.

It is not about gaining, but surrender.

It is not about religion, religions are other peoples stories, and we all have our own.

It is magical, but we must never follow anyone else’s magic, we must create our own.

In doing so we will confront our own insanity, and we will learn acceptance.

We must expose ourselves on the altar of life and allow ourselves to be carried by an

ambivalent universe toward an unknown God.

6-8-25

Thinking today about feelings, how we seem to focus on the unpleasant ones,

and avoiding them, disconnect from all of our feelings.

I don’t think there is anything better than the feeling of humility and gratitude.

Nothing inspired that feeling more than the natural world.

To be humbled, to know my place, to be grateful.

I must be willing to be alone, make the time, find a place, the night sky-

the morning mountains, make a connection.

It will hold you and you will know that you belong, it will feel like a home for your

lost soul.

Our mind and our body might want to run away, our thoughts cannot reach this place.

It is inside all of us, it calls us, we will be stilled, all other feelings will subside, save gratitude.

It is our own very personal spiritual awakening.

6-1-25

Home again, taking it all in, the moment and the memories.

I seem to be loosing judgement of both, the past and the present.

Yes it’s all good, not just for the sake of feeling better, but accepting as is; as is.

That has become more of a reality for me.

How fortunate, to be old and discover acceptance.

It has been there all along, ungraspable, unholdable, so overlooked.

Although not yet a part of me, let me be more aware of my most reliable companion-

acceptance.

Let me believe in a future that I cannot control, and I will not try.

5-13-25

Today I arrive at the park, to pastel skies and green earth.

The trees have filled in now, there has been enough rain for the grass to awaken.

Fewer birds, more people.

I feel a strong need to hide, no more morning darkness to protect me.

The fear of being seen, but why?

Do I have the mark of Caine, that is visible to all?

I know I cannot run away, I must stay, this life is the only place that I can learn what

must be learned.

It is the not knowing that holds me, learning the unknowable, feeling it, the doubt, uncertainty.

It is the feeling that I love.

The feeling of being alone, alone in unison with everyone, everything.

My unknown part in the great mystery.