2-14-21
Everyday, anyhow, anyway I must find beauty.
That is my job, that is my responsibility.
I must never be too busy, I must never be too depressed.
The beauty is always there, if only to the seeker.
This morning it was 5 below, so I bundled up and went for a walk.
After discussing my madness with myself for about 30 minutes,
As I was coming in I saw the eastern sky.
The purple, the gold, the gray, and then silence perfected the moment.
Madness dissolves when it encounters beauty.
1-24-21
The sky will change it’s colors many times today.
Many lives will begin and many lives will end today.
My thinking will inspire and depress me today.
My world will expand and reduce today.
My body will generate and decay today.
I will find peace and I will find conflict today.
And as always the ever-changing universe will be perfect today.
12-31-20
Sometimes I feel so empty inside.
I feel like I have lost myself.
I know why people bleed just to see if they are still alive.
My days have become quieter, emptier, my inspiration used up.
Lost and disconnected from myself, I look to others for support.
Finding none, I despair.
This: Yes this is the road I have been looking for:
To make peace with my own despair.
It has been here for a while now, but I have been afraid to look.
It is really not so bad – despair, just another part of me.
The colors of dawn arrive now, the sun will follow.
It will not ask how I am,
It will shine for all, without distinction.
Learning today about the changes that are upon us.
Seeing people with my mind’s eye, because we cannot be together.
Seeing the faces of people, missing them, loving them, everyone I know.
Not being in love with them, but loving them.
It is one of the most pleasant feelings I’ve ever had.
Missing people and loving them all equally,
Not loosing myself by falling in love.
Knowing I can love people I am not in love with.
12-20-20
When I am alone outside walking or just sitting in a natural setting, being alone
feels so right. And when I am alone at home it feels so wrong; I should do
something, get busy, shame on you. I can always find a way to be ashamed of
myself. I still don’t know if I am lying or telling the truth. I still don’t know
what I am seeking or why. And yet it is these moments that are most familiar,
it is these moments that are most natural. Shame and pride are only words, they
have no meaning in the natural world. There is nothing to gain, nothing to loose.
This is just a quiet journey into reality and back again. I get to see there is nothing
wrong in God’s Universe, it is only man who makes it so.
12-1-20
The pieces of our life, broken and torn;
The pieces from which our future is born.
Beauty is not what I thought it was,
Neither is the truth.
Tears express my gratitude
For the wreckage of my youth.
Peace is ever-present, if I am small enough to see.
The person I’ve become is the one I am meant to be.
Nothing is revealed, there is nothing I miss,
This moment, this place, this life, – only this.
11-22-20
To love quietly,
To cherish memories,
To see the grace in everything.
To match the tear in my eye with the smile on my face,
To show up do my best and yet loose every race.
For the truth is always moving, it doesn’t stand still,
My faith is ever-changing, and I hope it always will.
Yes the master is right “all things go away”,
So let me be at peace with myself, if just for today.
11-15-20
Arriving at my inspiration destination today, to discover it is being torn up to
make room for a new building. How can I even comprehend such a thing?
I have been going there for years. It’s where I have done most of my writing.
I watch the geese rising, struggling against the storm; angry wind and cold rain.
They move on – no decisions – no complaints – they move on.
11-1-20
To find inspiration in an ordinary place,
To know that life itself is all a state of grace.
To know stillness as the winds of time pass over me.
To believe the moment is sacred even when I cannot see.
To know the farthest point is always the best direction.
And to know that I am at my very best when I am farthest from perfection.
To live a simple life without notice or acclaim.
To dissolve into life’s ocean just another drop of rain.
9-21-20
The pre-dawn, I walk along now, the silence of the stars is my only companion, how wonderful.
To greet fear, it is usually the first to join me,
To embrace loneliness when it arrives.
To laugh with anger, it is never far behind.
To be present, to be at one with ourselves.
To be a part of everything, and everything is a part of me.
Never without
Always within.
So imperceptibly small in this perfect universe.
9-13-20
The world of accomplishment and satisfaction, such hollow rewards,
No refuge there, just more to accomplish.
Stillness: that is our refuge.
To be at peace with my body, my mind, my time, and my place,
Just the nowness of it all
Only this.
8-12-20
I pray that I will be filled with your Spirit to direct my thoughts.
presence 